Food for thought from "The Dive from Clausen's Pier" by Ann Packer:

The evening stretched ahead of me, pointless and unending.

We were alone - alone together and also alone within ourselves, each of the three of us.

It makes you the kind of person you are.
People have this idea that what they do changes who they are.
Meaning you do what you do. Not without consequences for other people, of course, sometimes very grave ones.  But it's not very helpful to regard your choices as a series of right or wrong moves.  They don't define you as much as you define them.
You are already made.

Are you lonely now?
She looked over at me, my mother in her burgundy linen work dress, glasses hanging from a cord around her neck.  She shook her head.
Lonely is a funny thing, she said slowly.  It's almost like another person. After a while, it'll keep you company if you'll let it.